Read and Write

"The truth is, it's not a great career move to create a readership and then, in effect, abandon them. "- Dan Simmons

Remember the first time you wrote a verse/prose or perhaps painted a picture. Beyond the self satisfaction of creation what was the next thing that gave you goosebumps- appreciation or criticism from your audience. No matter what was the reaction but the bottom line was the thrill of being recognised for an act of creation. It is so inherent that even as the most detached, inconsequential (sorry to use this term) or introvert author, you might yet, want a readership or recognition. My guess is we all go through it. For my matter, even I do, though the entries are only into a blog. Somewhere I feverishly wish that more people read what I have to say and also leave their feedback.

Bouquets and brickbats are never worries. Readership is. I would sometime think over this and worry that maybe my entries are not attractive enough to pull in readership. Thankfully, I do not continue to think the same today after I came across the quote by Dan Simmons. Very simply said but immensely thought provoking. It also reminds me of a movie "Finding Forrester". If you all have not watched it, then you must. Sean Connery in it. (Awesome movie and its a kind of serendipity when I realised that the makers of this movie are also the makers of "Good Will Hunting". Both these movies are my favourites.) Anyway, like I was saying readership, therefore should be the last thing in your mind if you are writing. One should write because he/she enjoys writing. The act is to write without any pretensions; express what is in the mind. The editing can happen later and readers will follow even later. Marquez does this and I guess all who want to express do the same.
Three cheers, Mr Simmons. Let me sum it up also with another quote of yours

"There's a unique bond of trust between readers and authors that I don't believe exists in any other art form; as a reader, I trust a novelist to give me his or her best effort, however flawed."

Haiku 2

It came, touched me
I was touched
Am overpowered by emotions.

The above are some very personal feelings of a moment that came and left an indelible mark in my mind.

I love Haiku.

Haiku

Hmm I was reading into the Japenese form of poetry- Haiku. (Follow the link) Interesting! Few of my attempts are below:

Waves

From waves near and far
Voices and news I hear
The mobile, the television and the transistor.

Love

Blind as the bat
scurries like the rat
shatters like glass!

Comfort

Food, water and roof
Vehicle, garden and golf
The green in the pocket buys them all.

Do let me know if you liked them...

Of Molars, Incisors and Dentists

Last week I visited a dentist. I cannot exactly trace the period when I had last visited one but it was certainly a long, long, long... time ago. Why do I have the dentist phobia is also something I cannot recall. Only that my association with dental patients have always resulted in an understanding that these lot of doctors can be very 'painful.' Friends holding their mouth with miserable expressions before and after visiting a dentist had an 'Ally Mcbea'l effect on my imagination. I began to regard dentists as a species who in their 5-6 year period of studies learn and master the art of masochism. Such was the phobia that I refused to get one of my upper molars checked for severe ache and I bore it for days striving on dozens of brufens. When the pain subsided and after a few months a small section of the tooth also broke off, I became an advocate of "no dentist but self help of one's own enamels." This was a few years back. Last week was different.
Simmi and I had an argument over something and I wanted to reach home late. I really do not know what was cooking in my head when I parked my bike close to the dental clinic. Of course there was this pressure that one of my incisors was infected, that I could not chew well from the right side, also that two of my left molars had very visible "CAVITIES" (yeah that's in upper-case) and a reminiscence of my tooth ache was haunting one of the lower molars. (phew and I thought I will never have to visit a dentist)
I very surreptitiously entered the clinic. My mind was racking for excuses to avoid a confrontation. The empty reception was a good excuse and I was about to leave when I heard a lady call -"Yes, Can I help you?"
The next thing I remember is me addressing her about my tooth problems and a while later seated on the dental chair for a routine examination.
"Open your mouth wide," she asked.
For a moment I thought that, "This is it. I should immediately leave."
Miraculously I held on and after the examination she dropped the bomb.
"Binodan, 8 cavities and probably 2 RCTs that will need immediate action," Aarika expressed in boisterous voice.
I seriously wondered what's the need for the excitement unless that every time a dentist examines the enamels he/she digs into it as unto a gold-mine. Of-course that each filling is at Rs 500 and the two probable RCTs are pegged at Rs 3000/- each are the finer details that she would explain later. (So you see where the gold mine analogy fits)
At that moment noting Aarika's chirpy voice I guessed that they would be painless rendering and promptly agreed on a sitting for Saturday.
After the examination I felt proud of myself. It took me courage under "the dentist's lamp" to overcome a phobia.
So what happened on Saturday is something I will chip in another entry. Though I still uphold the courage, I have some very descriptive moments to share when Aarika had lowered the drilling machine into one my molars. ;)

Fat-boy-Slim!!!

I have been putting on weight. It has been close to two years that I have realised this, but yes I have been gaining some grams every month in this period. It was/is not alarming as yet but yes it has begun weighing on me physically and mentally.

I weigh some 89 kg, which according to some (very unreliable!!!) medical sources in the net, is close to a 25 kg overweight problem, vis-a-vis my height. (which again is on the average side at 5' 7") I avoid being bogged down by any information on obesity or for that matter even with the 2 pair of favourite jeans that apparently refuse to rise above my thighs. (yet I have preserved them with a vain hope that I will fit into them someday. Sigh!) With a 36" waistline I do not exactly look very athletic, though in my virtual profiles I choose the latter description without batting an eyelid. I even carefully chose a photograph which makes me look slimmer for the profile.

Every morning I wish (and also believe) that I wake up a little slimmer but sadist around home and office are quick to puncture my reverie. I even had stuck cutouts of Yoga exercises on my cupboard thinking that a few breathing exercises will slim me down. I have realised that I also need to practise them and not just stare at the postures for the desired effects!!!

Simmi is very unabashed abut my efforts. If you ask her of any distant possibility of me slimming down, you will be met with a hysterical laughter. She also has gifted me a white T-Shirt- body hugging which naturally makes me look sillier than I usually am. (Thanks to my chest which stands out like-you know what...) She expects me to wear it and expects that I will slim down caring for her sentiments with the gift. My sentiments are perfectly present with the gift but the effort associated with them seem to be uncalled for.

At office Vipin tells me that I remind him of Lord Ganesha. (very funny Vipin!!!) Ravneet and her gang keep enquiring when will I deliver and if it would be a boy or a girl. (Sheesh!!!)

But friends, all said and done I have realised that indeed I need to slim after I rummaged through some of my not very long ago pics. Keeping these in mind I solemnly promise myself to begin a disciplined work out... from tomorrow (now I have been saying this from sometime).

No I will, I promise... In a months time I will put up an entry and tell you of the kilos I have/will shed!!!

70 kg here I come!!!!

"Tintern Abbey"

"FIVE years have past; five summers, with the length

Of five long winters! and again I hear

These waters, rolling from their mountain-springs

With a soft inland murmur. -- Once again

Do I behold these steep and lofty cliffs,

That on a wild secluded scene impress

Thoughts of more deep seclusion; and connect

The landscape with the quiet of the sky."


I have not been very appreciative of romantic poetry or for that matter to be more precise, of Wordsworth and the poet's "emotions recollected in tranquility." However, I had to submit to the Laureate's sentiments during the recent Khandala trip. Though the pretext was of a Marketing meet (which did take place) the real pleasure and high was Khandala and its weather.

In an essay to the "Prelude" Wordsworth lays down certain principles of poetry. Poetry, according to him should be a "spontaneous overflow of emotions recollected in tranquility... in the rustic's language." I would have continued to believe the same until I read T.S.Eliot's poetry and his criticism of the former's love for emotions in composing poetry. In those spurt of juvenile and ambitious aggression, I was more drawn more towards Eliot. Therefore, very expectedly Wordsworth and his coterie took a backseat. Eliot appeared more real because he addressed issues which were topical. His symbolism and the attempt to encompass the history of literature in poetry were immensely seductive for me. Yet, a repetitive argument in mind ensued between expressions of spontaneity and calculated expressions. The Khandala trip resolved the argument to a large extent.

Of course, Khandala might not be unknown to you all. Bollywood must have certainly driven a lot of imageries of the valley's beauty in your mind. For those of you, who have visited the place nothing better can be said other than your own expressions of the picturesque landscape. The lofty hills and graceful wisps of fog awakened in me the most subtle and 'romantic' imagination. The showers and the view from Shaheen's bungalow into the majestic mountains lent a gothic sentiment in me. With power/electricity playing truant and the night being strewn by candle light the sentiment only grew more and more overpowering. Amidst sips of scotch and touch of the icy wind, my mind explored a raw feeling of being alone and being one with the power within Mother Nature.

The defining moment of realisation, however occurs many hours and miles later when my flight takes off from the Mumbai airport. The deafening roar of the flight, increasing pressure on my Eustachian tube and shut eyes suddenly brought Khandala live in my mind. The fog touched me again and the overpowering moments of the darkness of the nights in the hills inspired some instant words from me.

"Pardon me," my co passenger repeated twice, shaking me to open my eyes to meet the bland and empty look of an air hostess.
"Did you say something?" he enquired.
"Nothing," I mindlessly expressed.
"I am told Delhi is 35 degrees," he went on.
I nodded, silently trying to acknowledge that 'I was not a game for a conversation.' Indeed I was not. I wanted to go back to my reverie, to my Byzantium. (Yeah, I use the term so deliberately now) I could not. Not for many days till today, when I write this prose. And even as I was half way through this prose the words I spoke in the flight in that heightened state reverberates-

"For oft, when on my couch I lie In vacant or in pensive mood, They flash upon that inward eye Which is the bliss of solitude;..."

Wordsworth again. Sigh! I must admit some "spontaneous emotions are best recollected in tranquility"
Cheers to romanticism!!

Putu

Hey I adopted a Giant Panda as a virtual pet in my blog today! Simmi christened him Putu. So, if you are reading this then be kind enough to feed Putu his regular feed of grass brfore you log off. All you need to do is click onto the tab "more" and a bamboo shoot will appear. Click on the icon and then feed Putu!!!

Kanika introduced me to this virtual pet adoption. She has a really cute piglet in her blog- POKY!!! Now before you guys sign off let me clarify what's my ideal of adopting a virtual pet and that too a Giant Panda!
No prizes for guessing "Why a Giant Panda?" Precisely, because this cute little grizzly is on the verge of extinction and maybe the only ones left for care and adoption will be the ones like Putu, in a virtual world.
The other reason to vindicate my adoption is Discipline! Why discipline? Well, if you have a pet for real then you'll understand what I mean. Pets are the best way we can learn to discipline our lives, regulate ourselves and not to say even learn to emote. In my instance to begin with, before I adopted Putu I nose dived into some eco read about the Pandas -their eating and living patterns. Ofcourse, in a virtual environment the things would be different, but if for a moment I was to adopt a Panda for real then this is perhaps what my routine would look like:
Morning: Feed Putu
AfterNoon: Feed Putu
Evening: Feed Putu
Night: Feed Putu
Midnight: Feed Putu
Dawn: ....
Yes, my friends the giant panda lives a life that we all aspire- "Eat, Drink, Sleep, Eat, Drink,..." Sorry for the pun but I guess "Leading such a life is dangerous and therefore the Pandas are moving towards extinction" :o)

You can log into this site (mighty useful) and find more about Giant Pandas and his family...

By the way, I also stumbled into this interesting trivia as to how these grizzlies got their genric name. Quoted below:

"Giant Panda
Understanding the derivation of the word "panda" is not a black-and-white issue. The first appearance of the giant panda in literature occurred more than 3,000 years ago in The Book of History and The Book of Songs (the earliest collection of Chinese poetry), which both referred to the creature as pi and pixiu. The animal then popped up in Er Ya, the first Chinese dictionary (221–207 BCE); The Classics of Seas and Mountains, a famous geography book (770–256 BCE); and The Annotated Readings of the Book of Songs (475–221 BCE). These books gave the panda three new names—mo, zhi yi, and bai hu—and described the creature as a white fox, a white leopard, and similar to a tiger or a white bear.
As if the identity of this bamboo-eater wasn’t confused enough, the giant panda in later literature also received the names of meng shi shou (beast of prey), bai bao (white leopard), shi tie shou (iron-eating beast), and zhu xiong (bamboo bear). To this day, the Chinese name for the giant panda is still under dispute. Is it a banded bear (huaxiong), a catlike bear (maoxiong), a bearlike cat (xiongmao), or a great bear-cat (daxiongmao)?
The academic community even had problems deciding on a name. Attempting to give the giant panda its first scientific name, Père Armand David placed the species in the bear genus, Ursus, and labeled the species Ursus melanoleucus in 1869. About a year later, Alphonse Milne-Edwards correctly placed the species in its own separate genus and christened the animal Ailuropoda melanoleuca, meaning "cat-footed, black-and-white animal." This Latin name has stuck.
Altogether, the creature has received nearly 20 different Chinese names, yet none resembles "panda." One of the few known candidates for the root of the word panda is pónya, possibly derived from a Nepali word referring to the ball of the foot--perhaps a keen observation of how this bear eats bamboo with an adapted wrist bone that functions as an opposable thumb and sixth digit. Other writers believe that "panda" came from wah, the Nepali name for the red panda (Ailurus fulgens), and originating from the childlike sound that this species sometimes makes. The ultimate answer, however, may remain as elusive as a wild giant panda in a forest of bamboo.
—Alex Hawes and Matthew Huy"

Yeah and "What's in a name"- Right!!!